Revelations 45:10

Uhh... Leviticus... Deuteronomy... Mistoffelees... Mufasa... Whatever.

The point is that I have learned something new (once more). The story begins as such:
Perhaps to celebrate my soon-to-be-moving, perhaps because it was Thursday, or perhaps for some other unfathomable reason, Pam, Audra, Rick and I ended up at Ruby Tuesday.

Pam bowed out after 3 rounds and Audra after 7, as Rick and I raced to achieve the prestigous level of alcohol poisoning... Long story short, I can't guess people's taste in music (bought 2 rounds), and I can't control my credit card when I'm drunk(bought another 4 rounds). After that, I have only vague (crystal clear) recollections.

Did you know that there are places where there is a $6 cover charge that I did not have to pay? These locations seem to be open at a time when you get kicked out of all other bars... I wrote up a whole list of things that I learned this night, but I decided that I would not share them with you.

Rest assured, Rick has a lot of twenty dollar bills. I learned this.

I did not pay a single dollar after Ruby Tuesday. That is an achievement... I think.

Ride!

Did the River Trail with Jackie and Greg today - fairly amazing. Also, it was raining, so the trail was slippery and probably infested with ticks. Greg got all the ticks, though. He's also an amazingly talented mountain biker. I was in awe.

To end the fun ride, we swung off a rope swing into the river. It was probably polluted and full of leeches, but I didn't care. I did it anyway.

I slept 14 hours last night and had to suffer through most of today with a bad headache because of it. Let that be a lesson to all of you: never sleep. Ever.

Promise me.

BBqueue

That was last night (farewell to Westbrook apartment). Attendees: Jackiegregjustinangelaceliatonyemilyjohnnickmarylindsaybrian. We done brung the dining room table outside and feeded the bugs with our sweet, sweet blood all evening. Also, there was a plate of meat.

This apartment was probably the most fun place I ever lived. Goodbye, old apartment - Nick and I will be signing our new lease in 3 hours.

Things I will miss:
$300/month rent
2 bathrooms
Mowing the lawn
Our beautiful snow sculptures (anatomically correct Santa)
Jackie, the cleaning spaz
Justin, the expecting mother
Having no neighbors within earshot
The dog cage
Justin's TV, Greg's TV

Things I will not miss:
Having the heat shut off in my room
Jackie's TV, Nick's TV
The immortal self-repeating franken-ants that live in my bedroom
The smaller ants that infest the kitchen
Our basement full of strange and wonderful fungii
Main street

Hades gots nothin' on my room

I worked from 6:30-6:30 today. It's too hot to work. It's too hot to sleep. It's too hot to live.

It does seem that I will be living in an apartment for the next year. It is right down the road from where I live now, only in a better neighborhood. Here's to that - I am actually excited. Moving day is ... sometime between now and the 31st, that's for sure. Shit. I think we lose internet tomorrow.

That's not cool.

Martha Stewart

Nik am just said that. GOAL! (killnikonanaplineslope)

toomuch

It's hard, I've discovered, to go from a life of zero responsibility and accountability to the polar opposite.

I am extremely overworked this week, I am stressed out, I need to find an apartment, I can't stop eating, I can't start exercising... I'm pretty sure I've regained all of the weight I lost (stupidly lost) for Katahdin by now.

But, hey, soon enough, the employment evaluation and apartment hunting will be over. Then I will be free. Like that gladiator guy who was Russel Crowe.

Katahdineer

Climbed ye olde Katahdinne yesterday. I certainly have pictures, but I certainly hate you all as well. Maybe I'll put some in... Let's see. Ok, I took them out. I told you I hated you.

I do love that mountain. It's probably the best hike ever.

No Fireworks

I do not care for fireworks, nor do I care for the Fourth of July. Go figure. It's another of your human "holidays" that I hate. Big suprise.

Irrational loathing aside, in an act of forced attrition, I did celebrate this holiday. By drinking in public, that is.

Y'see, Nik, Mary, Matt, Kate and I journeyed down to my old apartment near the boulevard in Portland. To park. We then carried a lot of beer(s) to an apartment around a mile away. The sheer amount of times that I said "we're going to die" and claimed that we were lost would boggle your mind. I'm practically the funniest person in the world. I think that Matt wanted to kill me.

However, we did eventually arrive at Matt's friend's apartment. It was the hottest night that ever existed, so I tried to stay outside. Basically I ended up getting annoyed and drinking a good amount of the beer(s) on our massive tarp while listening to Matt's closed captions for the colorblind during the fireworks (RED! BLUE! GREEEEEEEN!). I believe they started shouting out shapes at some point, but I got drunk FAST. The rest of the night consisted of me attempting to make the world stop spinning by passing out on floors and blacking out otherwise.

That was probably the best fourth of July since before the liberation of this great nation.

What does the Fourth of July celebrate, anyway?

Mountain, ho!

Father's 65th or whatever birthday is coming up. Actually, I think he's 56 or something. I'm probably dyslexic.

So it looks like we'll be climbing Katahdin to celebrate (and see if old people can climb, I suppose). I have decided to try to lose some weight for the trip - 15 lbs before I go. That's just a made-up goal, but I've already lost a bunch (around 7) with my incredible diet of eating everything I see.

I'm the epitome of healthy living or something.