It was WEDNESDAY night
... and it was a learning experience. Here are my lessons.
#1: Just because it's Wednesday doesn't mean that all of your roommates won't find reasons of their own to go out to the Boot & Buckle (bar) to observe line dancing.
#2: Three wise men is a shot. Made of alcohol and MORE alcohol. Follow it with many cheap beers.
#3: The mystique and allure of the line dance becomes more... mystical and alluring as the ratio of alcohol to blood in my veins grows.
#AJ: Bouncers named AJ that your roommates all know for some reason will inevitably be twice your size and accuse you of having a weak handshake. Oh, the humiliation.
#5: When you can't drive to the next bar, WALK. Preferably the "back way" which seems to involve railroad tracks and the woods of Westbrook for some reason.
#6: That reason is because you're really, really drunk.
#7: Sports bars in Westbrook close at 11 on Wednesdays. Walk to the nearest trashy bar in the center of town instead. The people in there won't be scary. No, not at all.
#8: When you're drunk enough, playing pool against crazy people from Westbrook becomes a good idea for both us and them. Also, when you're completely sloshed (me), your ASSHOLE roommates will offer you up as the prize for the game...
I'm pretty sure that I'm somebody's bitch now.
#9: Pizza will be ordered upon walking home and regaining some sobriety. It will arrive an hour and ten minutes late, forcing your roommates to shoot you in the abdomen and ass with your own BB gun.
#10: Who the hell thought BB guns were a good idea, anyway?
#11: After getting to sleep at the majestic hour of 2:30 AM, your father will call you in five hours out of the blue wanting to go to Denny's.
#12: Cinnamon raisin French toast and 5 glasses of water are quite possibly the best things in the whole entire world.
#1: Just because it's Wednesday doesn't mean that all of your roommates won't find reasons of their own to go out to the Boot & Buckle (bar) to observe line dancing.
#2: Three wise men is a shot. Made of alcohol and MORE alcohol. Follow it with many cheap beers.
#3: The mystique and allure of the line dance becomes more... mystical and alluring as the ratio of alcohol to blood in my veins grows.
#AJ: Bouncers named AJ that your roommates all know for some reason will inevitably be twice your size and accuse you of having a weak handshake. Oh, the humiliation.
#5: When you can't drive to the next bar, WALK. Preferably the "back way" which seems to involve railroad tracks and the woods of Westbrook for some reason.
#6: That reason is because you're really, really drunk.
#7: Sports bars in Westbrook close at 11 on Wednesdays. Walk to the nearest trashy bar in the center of town instead. The people in there won't be scary. No, not at all.
#8: When you're drunk enough, playing pool against crazy people from Westbrook becomes a good idea for both us and them. Also, when you're completely sloshed (me), your ASSHOLE roommates will offer you up as the prize for the game...
I'm pretty sure that I'm somebody's bitch now.
#9: Pizza will be ordered upon walking home and regaining some sobriety. It will arrive an hour and ten minutes late, forcing your roommates to shoot you in the abdomen and ass with your own BB gun.
#10: Who the hell thought BB guns were a good idea, anyway?
#11: After getting to sleep at the majestic hour of 2:30 AM, your father will call you in five hours out of the blue wanting to go to Denny's.
#12: Cinnamon raisin French toast and 5 glasses of water are quite possibly the best things in the whole entire world.
posted by darkchord at 5:41 PM
4 Comments:
The girl in the blue was hotter than the one in the red, yo.
You're MY BITCH now ya piece O shit...luck of the Irish to ur MOM.
-alex-
That doesn't even make sense... Who are you people?
HaHa, I'm going to read this all the time to see what trouble you're getting my guy into.
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